* mad me *

Did You Miss Me?

2007-05-25T20:44:58Z

(Dresden Dolls - Missed Me)

missed me missed me now you've got to kiss me
if you kiss me mister I might tell my sister
if I tell her mister she might tell my mother and my
mother, mister, just might tell my father and my father
mister he won't be too happy and he'll have his lawyer
come up from the city and arrest you mister
so I wouldnt miss me if you get me, mister, see?

missed me missed me now you've got to kiss me
if you kiss me mister you must think I'm pretty
if you think so mister you must want to fuck me
if you fuck me mister it must mean you love me
if you love me mister you would never leave me
it's as simple as can be!

missed me missed me now you've got to kiss me
if you miss me mister why do you keep leaving
if you trick me mister I will make you suffer
and they'll get you mister put you in the slammer and forget
you mister then I think you'll miss me won't you miss me
won't you miss me

missed me missed me now you've got to kiss me
if you kiss me mister take responsibility
I'm fragile mister just like any girl would be
and so misunderstood (so treat me delicately!)

missed me missed me now you've gone and done it
hope you're happy in the county penitentiary
it serves you right for kissing little girls but i will visit if you miss me
do you miss me? MISS ME??
how's the food they feed you??
do you miss me
will you kiss me through the window?
do you MISS ME? MISS ME??!!
will they ever let you go???

I miss my mister so!!!!

S

2007-05-10T17:58:15Z

:::Hey, you, FUCKER!

:::You idiotic little guy. What the FUCK do you think you’re doing? I don’t feel threatened.
:::no not AT ALL. I just get ANGRY. You don’t deserve what you’re looking for. And you’ll
:::NEVER get it. HA. You practicly just think you can hit on someone like that eh? EH? Well,
:::HAHAH, you CAN, but you’ll NEVER succeed in whatever you’re trying to reach. Did
:::you know I just HATE people like you? You fucking peace of SHIT! I mean, I knew you
:::were desperate but THIS? Ah NO! And how do you DARE to call it coincidence, HA.
:::Forget it sucker, coincidence is for people who deserve it, like ME and HER. So don’t
:::FUCKING think you can get into things with your LOUSY convers. She’s not and IDIOT,
:::y’know? The only idiot here is YOU.

:::And I ain’t saying this because I’m scared by what you can achieve. I’m saying this caus I
:::feel like I have to protect your prey, caus it’s MINE and you’ll never EVER touch it with
:::just ONE finger. Man, you won’t even LIVE to tell what happened.

:::I know you won’t make a serious attempt, or else You’d be dead ALREADY. So fucking
:::STOP your idiotic way of doing things and just…..GET A LIFE or something. Just go make
:::lousy friends somewhere else then THERE. Caus I’ll personally KICK you out, HEAD
:::FRONT.

:::Oh Boy, it’s just caus you didn’t learn your lesson already.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>>>Sorry Peeps, he won’t read this anyways ^^<<<<

Here something else I need to get outta my system.

***************************************************************************

S : Should Have Never Happened

O : Oh My God How Could I

R : Rotten Thing To Do

R : Really Didn’t Mean It

Y : Why’d I Have To Go And Do A Thing Like That?

I’m Sorry

So Sorry

I’m Sorry

I’m So Sorry Darling

I’m Sorry

Sorry

***************************************************************************

Reservoir Dogs

2007-05-07T13:21:31Z

Oki,

Long time no see,

Here’s the deal.

I’m looking for a dog.

Not to buy from someone,

No,

I just wanna know what

Breed dog suits me,

So if anyone has an idea,

Please,

Contact me.

Criterion for dog:

It should be a calm dog.

It should be a furry dog too.

It should be a middle larged dog.

It shouldn’t stink.

Be sweet with kids.

The colour has to be black,

Or white,

Or both,

No other colours.

Nice would be if he/she had flappy ears,

But not necessarely,

Of course.

Calm and middle larged

Are the most

Important criterion.

I thought about a

Border Collie,

But the thing is,

It’s an hyperactive

Dog

So…….

Anyways,

It would be nice if it looked

Anything like the

Border Collie.

By the way,

This ain’t a

Fucking poem

But I do want

Reactions

Please.

-xxx-

Seduction

2007-02-08T13:50:46Z

Tada,

Seduction for a lot these days.
The Canada Plan (TCP). It's getting real shape. I'm going to order the plane ticktes tomorrow. And it feels like the girl that I'm going for is seducing me more and more to go this evening istead of the 1st of July. But I'll stay calm and wait. Or else I'll look too desperate.....Right.
Someone crossed my path again that I met a long time ago. Not really woehoeoe though, well, at first sight yes. I was damned happy but, he''ll bring nothing but trouble with him so I gotta stay focussed. Don't want me to get in any trouble. As I always get if situations come too close.

I don't know what I'm trying to say, so I'll leave it with this.

Your beloved frog-s

I Wish

2007-02-02T22:57:25Z

I hope, I care, I do,

I think, I might,

Just for now,

One good taste,

One big chance,

Just one time,

I dream, I find, I can,

Maybe not just now

I wish

CUREPARTY

2007-01-18T13:54:12Z

In Febuary, and I want to go, and I can go, but someone has to come wimme caus my mum doesn't want me to be going alone with old men :p. Anyone interested? bet not (exept for cute Isa who lives in freaking Canada -__-).

Anyways, school exams went as ever. And I still dunno what to say, after all this time...

Today was stormy, was cool, went with the tram caus I didn't want to get wet by rain. Got wet, and did my french exam,
while I felt my hair dripping on ma back.
The news is all over the storm. It's caus nothing ever happenes here, everyone starts to scream: OH MY GOD, It's a STORM. Caus we never have cyclones and avalanches and stuff like that. We only have Geert Wilders. HAHAHAH, no we really don't have anything. It's like you live in this village and people start to run on the streets totally hysterically one
morning because the butcher guy painted his door red while it used to be green for such a long time. At the other side we never get frightened of anything anymore caus of our wonderfull telly.
"Still the war in Iraque?"
"yeah"
"what a bummer, any more dead?"
"yeah"
"too bad, anything else on the news?"
"yeah....an earthquake in Indonesia, at least 1000 people were killed"
" oh..."
"OW, BUT DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE STORM COMMING OUR WAY? DUDE, WE'LL BE BLOWED
AWAY TOMORROW ON OUR WAY TO SCHOOL, HELL YEAH"
" OMFG YEAH DUDE, HIGH FIVE!"
*high five*

-___-

But what's cool is that you can laugh anywhere you are, even here in The Hague. For example, when I was walking home via an alternative route I came past a small Albert Hein (Dutch food shop thing with loadsa branches or however you call that, chainstore or something) and there was a sort of mad portrait of Mozart right there, like Mozart been there for shopping
once or something XD, so stupid, I made a pic of it. And I was laughing my head off. And now there's nothing left to say.

-xxx-

frog_s @ 2006-12-25T13:44:00

2006-12-25T13:34:18Z

The Sun Is Up

This morning the sun came up just as
ever. People weren't exactly dancing
in the streets but   since it is hard to
live without the sun there are plans
of praising the sun every morning.
25 December 2006 - By our reporter Frog_s.
The sun, a big star and also the central
of our planet system. If it wasn't there
we wouldn't be alive today. After many
agitations    of    groups    of   people all
around     the    world    that tried to give
insight into the problem that we never
praise the sun for it's existence,   the
arguments finally reached the politic.
Today  there is  planned a conference
of the 8 world leaders to debat on this
toppic. China and Russia already told
the    Sunday    Times    and    the   Daily
Telegraph that they weren'tsure about
this topic whereas   the US and Great
Britain told on a press conference that
they understood the situation   but were
affraid to cause to   many    tensions
all around the world if we would  make
some new rules about how everyone
should  have  a morning ritual to praise
the sun.    Tomorrow we  will find out
more hopefully.

Pound_S

2006-12-16T21:32:33Z

So,

London's comming up, and it'll just be great. I guess things will get better in times. Holidays are comming up. Hopefully some good days with my nephew again. I really wish for a good old holiday again. Y'know, such a holiday in which you can see mountains and go camping and wandering and sweat your head off and all that stuff.....And relax. I can't relax. Not now at least. Too much going on. I'm the type of person that needs to lock herself up in a quiet room for at least 3 hours a day or else the tension gets too much. It's not that I want pitty or something, but that's why I don't see friends that much...At least....Friends....I don't even know if they're friends....I don't have time to think about that. Need to focus and all. Or else it'll only take longer and then I won't get my 3 hours of isolation. I don't even have time for fun anymore. I shouldn't think about this, it'll put me off and then I'll start failing school like I already am if I don't watch out. I really really really can't stand it all. I'm so going to be out of here when I finally grow up and learn to live. This is not my world and not my life.

-xxx-

Dear Prudence

2006-12-11T14:23:48Z

Siouxsie And The Banshees ~ Dear Prudence

Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day
The sun is up, the sky is blue
It's beautiful and so are you
Dear Prudence won't you come out and play

Dear Prudence open up your eyes
Dear Prudence see the sunny skies
The wind is low the birds will sing
that you are part of everything
Dear Prudence won't you open up your eyes?

Look around round
Look around round round
Look around

Dear Prudence let me see you smile
Dear Prudence like a little child
The clouds will be a daisy chain
So let me see you smile again
Dear Prudence won't you let me see you smile?

Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day
The sun is up, the sky is blue
It's beautiful and so are you
Dear Prudence won't you come out and play

Look around round
Look around round round
Look around

------------

Blah blah blah, don't feel like telling everything about everything blah blah, love you Isa, can't wait to speak to you. Blah blah, I left all my faith downstairs blaaaaaaaaaaah. Can't stand it. Blah blah, like they'd ever get it anyways. Mad me. Blah blah, I don't think it will make much sense. It's lost, it's loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooost. And I don't know a way to find it. I don't think there is a way. There's no wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. And now I feel bad. And good. And bad. Will they EVER feel the same??????? InseCURE.........About you.....

-xxx-

PS: Isa I REALLY love you!

I can't stop this feeling I've got

2006-11-20T21:33:32Z

Razorlight ~ I Can't Stop This Feeling I've Got Razorlight lyrics

I can't stop this feeling I've got,
I know who I am and I know what I'm not,
I know where I've been and I know what I've lost
But I can't stop this feeling I've got

Wasn't looking ahead and I heard
Didn't I see, didn't I learn
and I don't know what you mean to me
but I'm starting to think it's just a mystery

I can't stop this feeling I've got,
I know who I am and I know what I'm not
I know where I've been and I know what I've lost
but I can't stop this feeling I've got

wasn't looking ahead and I heard
didn't I see, didn't I learn
I may be right you may disagree
but I'm starting to think it's just a mystery
whatever it is it's just a mystery

ah you don't really look so easy
you spend a lifetime looking for someone
and then they come and you're just so uneasy
you get the feeling that if I dont come
then there's one more story be on your way

and I can't stop this feeling I've got,
I know who I am and I know what I'm not
I know where I've been and I know what I've lost
but I can't stop this feeling I've got

the scar before then see me split
you may say that isn't it
I may be right you may disagree
same old story same old me
and I dont know what you mean to me
but I'm starting to think it's just a mystery
I've got to admit it's just a mystery

See You Never....

2006-11-18T14:24:31Z

Long time no see.....

I've been busy lately....Busy with thinking mostly. Blah, I can't stop it, but that's how I'll get better I guess. I thought a lot thursday and friday night, I was on a local festival called Crossing Border, full of musicians, poets and writers. Thursday night I went all alone. I got cheaper tickets arranged from school and there was no one going too but I really didn't mind. I quite liked it all by myself. I'm all into festivals, they're like air to me. I know little people who see it the same way as I do so I guess it also would be good to be alone....On the festival that night I wandered around a little, gazed around at all the people. I didn't know any. At first I went to a poet. He was belgian and I really like the way belgians talk so I wanted to go see him :p. It was ok, a dark room full of cute little tables and seats with candles on the tables and all that stuff. I sat there a bit making notes. It was rediculous but I didn't know what to do else. The poet came, talked a bit and left again. It was strange, I did like his accent yes...But The poems themselves? I didn't understand a fuck of it, it was fairly abstract and I guess it was just all about sex or something, I dunno ahaha. After that the main part came. I went to stage 1. A stage that just was a real stage. I walked into the room, and as I'm used to on festivals I just go walking straight to the stage. It wasn't crowded at all, we had to wait for another 10 minutes before the next band began and that was still ages ago for a festival like this where there were about 7 stages full of things. I stood in front right away and I just turned around and went watching people. That's the greatest thing to do on a festival if you're bored. Caus people on festivals are so typical. So different most of the time. It was cool. After a couple of minutes it began. THE FUTUREHEADS! I discovered them on 'Later...' That BBC show with Jools Holland, they played at the show together with The Cure! They were cool but I quite forgot about them. But I did wanted to go see them that night, caus they were big. The show began and it was so cool! Such energy and they were also cute as fuck. They played very well and they were just great. I'm such a fan now. Because I was all alone I also had plenty of time to dream and think while enjoying the music. That's so mindfreshing! After that came RAZORLIGHT, also a great band and the most known out of all the acts on Crossing Border I guess. A lot of teenage girls gathered around the stage. The vibe was good though. The critical, old men that were also everywhere made it up. So I was there, a bit staring and dreaming, thinking. When the band began the crowd cheered like they'd die if the band didn't do as they wished. It was cool, very energetic as well. Good songs too but in my eyes Razorlight was a bit more the band to keep the audiance sweet y'know, the band that could entertain everyone. The Futureheads were a bit more quality...But I may be wrong of course. Anyways the concerts were great, both of them. Razorlight and The Futureheads both had a couple of unforgettable songs (I can't stop this feeling I've got/in the city/who needs love/skip to the end/carnival kids/decent days and nights).
Yesterday night was also great. I'll keep that story a little bit shorter. This day me and a couple of schoolmates first went having dinner with 2 teachers in a pizza-restaurant. It was very nice, very comfy. After that, off to the Crossing Border festival. When we were in I began to ran around right away. To be honest I didn't feel like waiting for my 2 best schoolmates caus I knew they weren't really into the ting about making your way through a crowd in a festival the way I do. I went check out THE FILMS first. I sat at the stairs that they had. The band was quite cool, but not really surprisingly good or something. Not one of a kind, good though. After that it was time for the band I really couldn't wait to see that night. THE VEILS. They were great, duh. The bassist was a girl of how I wanted to be really. She looked damn hot but looked slightest bit careless and mysterious ànd she knew how to play her bass well of course. She was cool. The guitarist reminds me of Porl (Porl Thompson, guitarist of The Cure) now I think back of him. Not the appearnace but the look in his eyes and well...hard to explain. The singer was cool, what a character. He was halfly crying on stage and gave everything he got on that stage. It was so cool. His voice was a bit Jeff Buckley like. Great for sure. They were cool ànd they also were the only band that came back for an encore (not that they decided that I guess). The drummer was cute....Cutest one of the band I guess. The keyboardist looked like a long lost '80 kid, y'know, born too late haha. I bet he was a Cure fan. The rest of the evening was good, stayed a lot with the schoolmates. Did this and that, and went home with a great feeling. It was good, fucking good.

Mad....

2006-11-09T18:48:13Z

So School exams are over,

And I can't wait to take the first flight to Canada to go meet my soulmatey, Isa. But I guess that's a bit exagerated :p. I miss her anyways.
Today's Mark's birthday *yay*, too bad I couldn't make it to his house. Anyway I wouldn't know if I'd be welcome anyway :p (I have SUCH a problem with getting a long with people in groupes, it's so dumb, I always feel like shooting myself in such a position XD) Anyway I'll go sying happy birthday another time (if that's alright with him :p).
This is so boring, I really haven't got anything to tell......-______-.....Anyways...............................I gotta update some more and have cool things to tell...........Shit :p

-xxx-

London Bridge...Is Falling Down

2006-11-06T20:01:54Z

OMG,

We got a letter today saying we're going to London for another trip with school. Just one day but...It'll be focking amazing!
Wouter phoned me just yet and we already agreed on sabotaging the whole lot so that we have to stay at least another week :D.
Pubs, music, streets, I bet it's all just great in London. And I can't wait to go test my over-the-top, very fake, english and scottish accent haha. Wouter and I'll go on an LP hunt, we'll be the Steve Irwings of the music-shops in London. And, duh, what would London be without English pubs, and that means ----> GUINESS :D
Anyways, I'm burried in school exams at the moment so I'd better go back and learn them before I'll fail maths...something I REALLY don't want to...'caus it's damned easy and all y'know.

-xxx-

Too good to be true

2006-10-29T15:03:32Z

I was with school on a university somewhere in holland. We went there a lot, we had a sort of course going on there so were there every week for some mad subject. That didn’t really bother me, the only thing that did were the people I met there. Me and a couple of other friends landed in a group of friends there on the university. It were about 4 boys I think, all around age 20. Nice they were. Funny and stuff. We were hanging out together a lot. The only thing that interested me during those university hours were the breaks we had, when we could finally again be with that group to have fun. One day we were all having fun when I suddenly got kissed by this guy of that group. I got all happy. We got all something. He had curly brown hair, a bit tall, was very polite and funny and clever, about 21 years old. We had so much fun together. Going out and stuff. Laughing. Being sweet to each other….I really thought we would last forever….

Then I woke up….

:’(

"So priceless and worthless at the same time"

2006-10-25T19:15:14Z

My little sis is scared of the rain while she tries to sleep in her dark room,

Sweetheart isn't she? Well, everything's about normal here. Holidays. I hope this'll be my last period-pain-day. So I'm a bit ill yes, so I'm cold all the time and need hugs :(. I don't feel like doing homework though I really should. I wish I could sleep for another week, I'm so tired and lazy. Yesterday night with this friend of mine was quite fun. We just sat at my home watching telly caus we never have any clue whatsoever what to do, and my dad went away with a friend of his and came back three hours later and asked why we weren't in bed....together...-___-. It was quite funny, my dad alway thinks I go sleeping with everyone. Not that he thinks I'm a slut or anything, he just wants to be the opposite of keeping your head shut about anything intimite like that. He wants to show that I can talk about it with him adn all and he also just would like to keep an eye on me I guess...but in a good way, not liek he's too worried about me, no not at all. Interesting... I think I'll be gone to sleep a bit or something....Whatever.... :(

-xxx-

Coupe Du Soleil

2006-10-23T11:03:22Z

Whatever people say I am, that’s what I am not!

So, Italy was nice indeed, yes. Spend more money than I ever did on such a trip I guess..I’m not such a ‘hey, big spenderrrr’ kinda person. Bought a lot of gifts for my family and people that I don’t even know in person. Loved the mountains and the cities. We don’t have mountains here and the cities are boring. It reminded me of southern France though. Nostalgy. The group I was with was alright, not smashing though. But I dunno many people that are smashing. I probably just imagine some people being smashing though they aren’t actually. Too bad, I imagine too much. Anyways, all was nice and fine, ate a lot of pizza and ice cream. I was tired throughout the whole week though, that was dragging but all those pretty things kept me going. I saw the David of Michelangelo, that was really a major hit. And I saw the birth of Venus and the Primevera for real. Those were so gorgious. And of course the churches, we always see a hell of a lot of churches on such a culture-school trip. The churches were all fine, very pretty but all those commercial things made it boring and dull. The first REAL church we saw was on the last day like 2 hours before we left. We had this drawing exercise and everyone had to pick a spot to go and draw something you saw. Wouter, Daan (this funny bloke we talked to a lot during our trip) and I went to check out this church, it was the first real one in my oppinion. It was all empty, small, high, cold, dark and kinda comfy is some bizar way. That’s how churches need to be.
This weekend my family fom belgium came. That was so much fun. They’re such gorgious people, I can’t stop praising them. The parents are very generous, very catholic, very open and do a hell of a lot for charity and are very bright as well. The kids are one of the few that are raised so pure I think. Strange to explain though. My oldest niece is very intellegent, dunno how she does it, but she learns things so fast and goes to university and all that kind. My middle niece who is about one year older than me is funny and natural. I bet people’d see her as a geek but I think she’s very pure in her way of thinking. She had period pain while she was with us, poor girl. I tried to help her out a bit, showing that I understood, but I know it’s hard caus it just doesn’t help when you have that kinda pain. My nephew who is one year younger than me is the clown of the family really. We’re getting older now but when we were young we always used to laugh our heads off. I also still believe he is the one I laughed harder with then anyone else I know. But as I said, we’re getting older and ah well…girls grow faster than boys mentaly so he’s still a bit in the cartoon fase and all. Not that we didn’t laugh or anything, no, course not! But, ah well, you seem you only can make jokes about sex now, so teenagy, it’s fucked. We used to laugh so damned much about (no offence) people being tortured and pain and disabled people. Not in a sadistic way, not at all, just in a funny way.
Anyways it was a great weekend and I’m so happy and satisfied. Been to the dentest this morning and that mad german man said my teeth were ok. Jippy joe. So now I’m back on the cookies and Ice-tea again ahaha. In some minutes I’ll be off to somewhat my best friend and I’ll probably go and have fun with her again like always : ).
At least our jokes won’t change I hope.

-xxx-

Friday the 13th

2006-10-13T19:57:34Z

So,

Tomorrow I'll be on my way to Italy with school. I bet it's going to be freaking fun. I'll be sitting next to Wouter in the bus I hope, so...I bet I'll laugh my head off during those 24 hours in that same bus ahah. Anyways the trip'll be good. I'll go away, see some new places, I'll see some real art and architecture and most of all, I love the way you suddenly start to FEEL everything on such a trip. Caus it feels like you're away from home and can't get back by yourself, so you kinda feel desperate in some mad way. I get all emotional about that, it feels great, finally I really feel something. And I also really really hope it's still hot there ahaha, I don't like the cold.

Well I don't really know what to tell anymore, exept for that I should really wish everyone a nice week while I'm gone, having a nice week out in ITALY (muhahaha)and that I should really tell Isa I miss and love her. And that someone really should smack her on the face and tell her she's one of the coolest girls that ever walked the planet (exept for me then eh? :p:p)

-xxx-

* I have to fight this sickness, find a Cure *

2006-10-09T18:24:29Z

heya,
----------------------------------------------------------------
Hole - Doll Parts

I am
doll eyes
Doll mouth
doll legs
I am
doll arms
big veins
dog bait

Yeah, they really want you, they really want you, they really do
Yeah, they really want you, they really want you, but I do too
I want to be the girl with the most cake
I love him so much it just turns to hate
I fake it so real, I am beyond fake
And someday, you will ache like I ache
Someday, you will ache like I ache

I am
doll parts
Bad skin
doll heart
It stands for knife
For the rest of my life
Yeah, they really want you, they really want you, they really do
Yeah, they really want you, they really want you,
BUT I DO TOO!
------------------------------------------------------------------
You understand all what's going here don't you? (That's also party what I meant in my other entry about being right back from where I started). I don't feel like being too clear about it, it just comes to the point that I don't feel all fine about how I react to a certain boy. I feel ill about it and want it to stop. Anyone any suggestion what I should do? How I can make it go away (I'm seriously asking for advice right now!)? Without hating him...I want to solve this on my own without having to confront him with all my stuff..That'll work though (confronting him with it), but I don't feel like it, it'll look like I make the same mistakes over and over again and like I don't learn from them.
Well.... I'll leave it to this...

Wouter

2006-10-07T18:53:45Z

Today was fun..

Becaus I went out shopping with Wouter, and yes, wouter is gay, so shopping is fun with Wouter. With Wouter I went to a shop and bought some pretty nice clothing for him. I hope Wouter's having fun with his new clothing. Wouter was also very sweet today, also because Wouter and I had a lot of fun but also because Wouter bought me a fairly cool shirt. It's not really that much about the shirt in this sense. It was quite a normal shirt although it suited me very good! I love the shirt. But besides that, I also really think it was sweet of Wouter to buy me anything at all, even if it were a pair of 3 year old olive-green coloured trousers with orange and pink spots on them AND an old Mickey Mouse patche between the legs, it still would've been the best of Wouter. so Wouter, once again you're in teh center of attention in my livejournal :D. (Serioulsy, I don't mean this sarcasticly, Wouter's cool!)

I miss my home

2006-10-05T16:16:50Z

Sorry guys, I was having too much fun ('I'm rick james, bitch')

So, everything's right back from where we all started. I'm madly busy with school at the moment. I'd better be. But I seem to be able to see my friends once in a while, wich is great of course. Sunday night was big fun. Played catering miss at a party of a friend of my father's. It was cool, 2 other girls and later on my sis helped with all the stuff. People came bursting in the kitchen at all times
Me: "Would you like something to drink?"
Guest: "Yes please, how about a red wine. d'you have that?"
Me: "Of course mister, you like the party?"
Guest: "Yeah it's cool. So, and you girls serve everyone?"
Me: "Yeah well, you know, we're getting payed and all, and it's much fun, isn't it girls?"
We: "Yeah/Yesss/wohoeoe"
Guest: "Oh great, well thanks for the wine and have fun the rest of the evening"
Me: "Yeah thanks, same for you and don't forget you can always just pop by for another wine"
Guest: "I won't forget haha, bye"
It always sounds better in English though. It didn't REALLY sound like that. It was just too polite, I wish there were more NICE guys there haha. Anyways, I wouldn't have had time anyways. Me and my girls (as I was the oldest there, they were MINE :p) were busy all times. Opening the door, giving people drinks, making cheese thingies, refilling the little cups with nuts and olives (in seperate little cups of course) and being polite and cute to everyone (cute = naive in this sense, what else should you do wearing a sexy dress with the room being filled by men, maybe they have sons :p).
I always like to go to parties like these, although the average guest’s age is 47 :p. But old people seem to be more polite, they don’t really care what you say to them. For the rest I dunno what it was but I was just very satisfied at the time.
Besides all of that, it’s been just same old same here. I’m day dreaming like mad, probably in love again. Gosh I hate that! Fuck love! Oh, and I have new pyjama’s :D. Then I always tend to go and show everybody my new pyjama’s wahah, that’s not really cool. And today with gymnastics, I talked to this über-gay from my school (no not Wouter, and no! Not Steve!), Thomas he’s called and he’s so…..Cute, I dunno. It’s not that I’d fancy him or something, I mean, c’mon, he’s gay! But a lot of gay guys do have that sort of….Strange thing that makes you want to hug, go shopping and talk about boys with them all the time :p. So I thought it was nice to chat with him.
My dad had this woman come over to have dinner with us one time, when I wasn’t there, I came there while they were heaving dinner to wait for Mark to go out (wich was loadsa fun besides : ), should do it more often) and one second I was damned affraid my dad had that woman as new girlfriend….But luckally she seemed to be the neighbour from 2 floors up, and my dad insured me she wasn’t at all interesting for him. So I was relieved about that!
So, I guess this was it…

-xxx-

A Strange Day

2006-09-28T19:55:34Z

Tonight….. (that was Sunday night)

Big news for me really.
I was just finished playing with my band, and Tim was so kind to give me a ride to the place I had to go, the place a curefan lived. An old man but a cure fan! And his girlfriend and his daughter. All cure fans really. So I stepped out of Tim’s car, and for a second I felt that mad paranoia coming, I always have that when I have to find a place by myself, I always get lost. Like in that song of The Clash, lost in the supermarket…That’s so me. Anyways I came there in a sort of apartment building. Pushed the button, I was afraid I had to talk but the door zoomed emidiatly, so I went in. Up on the stairs, swaying up ad up and up….I couldn’t find the door at first hand, so I was just going up and up and up untill I heared someone open a door just as I wanted to get another floor higher. A woman stood in the doorstep. Black shirt and red haired, with a young girl, age 3, between her legs that was obviously hiding for me. And giggling. I started to laugh (probably from the nervs) and said I just never was able to find my way in an appartment. The woman said something that I can’t recall and we shook hands. “Hi, I’m Nancy”.
“I’m Eva, great to be here” I said (I didn’t know what to say so I just….said something that I thought would be the slightest bit polite).
“ He fell alseep haha” Nancy said as a man came walking in the hallway in his sort of pyjamas I guess. I laughed and shook hands with him and repeated my name. He seemed sleepy and it seemed like he didn’t really know what the hell was going on. It didn’t matter. Of course it didn’t. He went off to take a shower or something and I went into the living room to find the little girl hiding under the table and repeating the words: “I’m a little shy! I’m a little shyyy” to her mum. It was adorable, really. I bended over to peek under the small table and as soon as she saw I was looking she tried to hide even more.
I just kept repeating: “awwwww” and “you don’t have to be scared!”
“Take a seat” Nancy said and I ‘plumped’ down onto the couch and observed the little girl that came out of her hiding place and also took a seat right next to me. Nancy offered me something to drink and came back a minute later with some youghurt kinda drink. It was nice. I just sat there for a while looking at the girl who was watching telly and looking around at the place. Never had any clue how Curefans lived (like they are a totally different kind of human :p). The house was a bit like I had expected, a bit alternative. And the best was that they had these fairly big Cure-posters on the walls. It was funny, because I was totally stunned when I saw them. Sort of mindblowing in a way, sort of heavenly too. Strange thing to describe really (it probably just felt like HOME). Nancy and I talked a bit about me being cure fan and it was so strange caus I’m always used to really explaining to people how I feel about it and that it sounds strange and that it’s hard to describe to someone who doesn’t feel it, but in this case, she kinda interrupted me and told me she knew exactly what I was talking about. It calmed me down in a strange some sort of way. After just sitting there for a while, and me feeling totally comftable wich is strange, the man I’d seen before came into the room. I can’t really rememer everything we done, it just came to it that Nancy and the girl (good name for a song/book/movie: ‘Nancy and the girl’) went to get chinese food and me following the man to the balconny so that he could smoke a ciggy. It was quite a depressing neighbourhood I concluded from the way the light struck the view you had from the balconny. It seemed like a poor subburb. While this maybe a bad interpetation. It was fun to look out though. To see something else. And to talk to the man of course. We talked about a lot of things ( not that we sat there for ages but…y’know). Just things…..Anything really. After his cigarette was done, we went back inside and watched some more of the Cure-dvd he had thrown right in the dvd player as soon as he got back from the shower before. It was funny when he came to the question if I could tune a guitar. I said I was probably able to, though I don’t play guitar. He got his acoustic one and ‘plinged’ some. It was funny, he knew all these short tunes of songs I was unable to remind haha. I wanted to play too (I always get totally mad if I see someone with an instrument in their hands, then I just can’t stand it to not have my bass there), so I got my bass that I had with me because I’d gone straight from my band to his house. I ‘plinged’ some too, not properly tuned though too haha. I couldn’t remember all the cure songs I could play. I know a lot, I just never repeat them so I forget how to play them after a while. It was fun though. When Nancy and the girl came back, with the chinese food, we went to have dinner. It was nice. Just really nice. We talked, laughed, watched The Cure. Everything. The night went fast really.
It was such a strange feeling, so strange I just can’t describe it elseway. Strange because, these were old people that treated me like I was old too (that’s positive….), like they CARED or something, and it was like we understood though we’d never seen each other. For me it was like that at least, maybe they were like: ‘jeez what a strange girl is that!’. I felt really calm there, like there was no need to explain anything, it was all just fairly relaxed. Besides that it damned much seemed like a fairy-tale. You see, I’ve never been in the neighbourhood they live, so I didn’t know where the hell I was really. Outside everything was grey and dark, it was like they were in this happy, bright, little house, hanging around being the happy family. They seemd like a fairy-tale caus they could’ve been the family that didn’t care about the outside world, and the outside world that didn’t care about them. It’s strange to put it in this way caus of cours they weren’t living this happy fairy-tale life but…It’s just the way I wished it would be I guess.
At least I hope I’ll have the chance to get there more often, and I hope they wouldn’t mind. It’s just that I imagine these ‘trips’ as something I need to get out of the daily drag, like I’m going on holiday to Happy Cure Island (ok, you can exaggerate :p). It’s just my way of medicating myself haha.

All with All (great dutch expression that is) it was a very strange night, as I mentioned the word ‘strange’ for about 12 times (including the last 2 in this sentence) :p.

-xxx-

The radio and the reunion

2006-09-24T11:54:19Z

Once again it has been a long time…..

But now I do have something to tell luckally (even though it may not interest you :p)
This wednesday I went on the radio live with my band, Trust. It was such good fun caus it was on a very small, local radiostation, runned by volunteers. We were there with our demo, waited half an hour first caus they had technical problems. Talked some to the few people that were there, a guy in suit who seemed to be the bit of director of it all, an fat and funny guy (how come fat men always have a good sense of humor???), a girl that was a columniste and 2 other dudes that were hangng around. After a little half hour of singing, talking, laughing, explaining and being informed about what would happen we took place in the four chairs at the other side of the studio. A little interview began. Jelle and Tim where the most talkative while Luuk and I were just answering the questions that were asked directly to us. It was good fun, even though the radiostation’s average are 2 listeners, the feeling of being live on air was great. They played 2 songs of our demo and mentioned our homesite for about 4 times haha. Well if that ain’t cool…..After that, we hung around a little bit more caus it was just very cosy in that studio I reckon. The people were so relaxed and all. It was a great relieve really, like a sort of day out it felt.
A night out was the plan for yesterday. It was a night out, that’s a fact, but if it was fun?
Well a little bit of history about this is needed if you want to know why I felt so bad yesterday night. We had a class reunion, the class from elemantery school. I hated that class, I still do, the way we treated each other was fairly bad and I seriously see that as the worst part of my whole life, all those 8 years. Our class was quite strange I thought, I was strange too. Afterwards I realised I was living a lie for about 8 years though my friends wouldn’t really conclude that. But it wasn’t about the outside, it was about what I felt, it was so wrong. Anyways, I was not really looking foreward in seeing these people again but I wasn’t negative about it either. I went with somewhat my best mate caus she was also in that class. When we came there we reckognised some kids emediatly…..It wasn’t that special, all the girls turned into sluts really, exept for me and my friend. It was so strange, everyone was talking to each other and getting along and I was seriously THE one not getting to start a conversation, I tried…loadsa times. I dunno, there was a strange atmosphere there, a lot of the girls were very kind to me but I just really didn’t fit in there. Those people changed…Not such an awfull lot but, they changed and a lot of them were still such teenagers. Such ‘beer and sex and rebelling and cool and weed and ciggies’- teenagers. I wasn’t on the right place. I got just a bit depressed of it caus I felt like all those 8 years I was trying to get over, were coming back. Like all the changes I made were made undone there. It was strange, caus it was just a meeting y’know.
Anyways, this will be my story for now…Tonight you’ll probably get a major new story, something great is about to happen in my little world so keep in touch : ).

-xxx-

All my pictures of you

2006-09-18T20:55:33Z

Since some time,

I've been very happy again, seems ideal now. I made pics of Mark yesterday in basement....And please don't think these pictures were hard core-porn or whatever, no, it were just great pics. Very dark and gloom, like I wanted really. We were just playing with the lights caus it doesn't really work that properly on the camera we used. But some pictures I thought were absolutely fantastic, now I only have to make a little story about them for the lessons in wich we have to present this little project about getting some lyrics/poetry and making pics with it. Caus you have to explain why these pitures and all that stuff. I'm good at making up those stories so I hope this'll be no prob. I'm a little bit ill since the weekend, that was quite a fucked up thing. I couldn't even do my homework and all that shit :\ . Tomorrrow we only have lessons about 1 hour caus we have first 2 hours off and it's 'Prinsjesdag', means that the queen's going to get up in her best dress and best hat and read some mad long paper about what's going to change and what need's to be changed and what they decided after long debatting NOT to change....And then some mad minister comes with this stupid suitcase in wich he has the papers that'll tell us how little money we can spend THIS next new year. ow joy -__-. Ah well, I shouldn't complain I mean, I'm getting half a day off :). I'm also happy caus me and the rest of Trust are going to a radioprogramme this wednesday to say some mad words and then they'll play our demo in the 'demo of the week' show :).
I'm also totally filled by the thought I now know this mad old cure fan who lives quite close to me actually and who's like a real cure-clone, y'know....a GOOD one, an old one, a REAL one. At least, I hope he is haha. I always have the best expectations about these kinda people. Not just because of him but all around y'know, he told me all about these parties very close to me, thankgod, full of cure fans and fanclubs and...Jeez, it's just like I've been waiting for this to come. This little bit of luck. I'm quite lucky anyways, Isa made me realize that :D. I really hope y'know...Hope this'll turn out into all the things I just need to feel better in general, and I bet it will but....Ah it's just such a strange thing that feeling, all that love......

frog_s @ 2006-09-15T20:28:00

2006-09-15T18:59:02Z

Today was quite fun,

so nevermind that silly thing I wrote down earlier today, I was just bored as fuck and we were in the hottest classroom you could ever imagine. Speaking of wich, it's so hot lately, it feels like summer to me again. But that always get's me in quite a good mood to be honest.
These 2 people I know from my school seem to have a relationship now, and when I found out I thought they were so cute. I know the boy and I've seen the girl around, they're like, quite small I think and the boy seems very shy so....it's just damned cute I couldn't stop saying that all the time hahaha, like as if they were 4 year olds hah. Besides that...ehm...The shower in my father's house is almost done...So we can finally shower at my dad's house :p. And, you know how freaking funny, my mother found this painting at the attic that was stuffed away there for a long time and she googled on the painter's name and she found out he was quite well known ahahaha, so she's maybe even going to tussen kunst en kitch/flogg it (or bargain hunt or cash in the attic, all the same shows) wahahah XD. For the rest there weren't that many mad things happening around here I guess. Things are just steady and all...Was glad to listen to some hard Joy Division again, was a long time ago since and I missed it I guess...and some good Cure songs..But that doesn't really interest anyone haha. ppff...my stories can be so so bad when I have nothing to worry and talk about haha

-xxx-

Times...

2006-09-15T10:04:31Z

Great great -____-,

Boring school, talking about our great great dutch pedophile party here during informatica lessons....ppffff have to get back to work again.................................

*** mad me ***

Did You Miss Me?

S

Reservoir Dogs

Seduction

I Wish

CUREPARTY

frog_s @ 2006-12-25T13:44:00

Pound_S

Dear Prudence

I can't stop this feeling I've got

See You Never....

Mad....

London Bridge...Is Falling Down

Too good to be true

"So priceless and worthless at the same time"

Coupe Du Soleil

Friday the 13th

* I have to fight this sickness, find a Cure *

Wouter

I miss my home

A Strange Day

The radio and the reunion

All my pictures of you

frog_s @ 2006-09-15T20:28:00

Times...

* mad me *